


Flipping Out

by Mreeb



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Donna Shepard, Gen, Humor, Interlude, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 06:07:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6183655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mreeb/pseuds/Mreeb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard's ability to repeatedly achieve the impossible has never been so embarrassing. One shot taking place just before the opening of Mass Effect 2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flipping Out

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Originally posted online at FF dot net on January 11, 2013, under the same username as I use here.

“How did this happen?”

Shepard rubbed her temple, suddenly thankful that she opted to do this mission alone. It was embarrassing enough without any physically present witnesses.

“No, really, Commander, how did this happen? _Again?"_  The voice in her communicator was insistent.

“Joker…”

“I’m just wondering. It’s actually really impressive.”

“Are you going to get me out of here or not?”

“You realize this is supposed to be impossible, right?” continued Joker as though his commander hadn’t spoken. Shepard wondered if her com was even working on his end. “The Mako isn’t supposed to be able to flip over like that. It’s designed specifically to keep rolling until it’s upright, like an ancient earth public ground bus.”

Shepard glared at the Mako’s control console in lieu of the helmsman’s face. “Can we marvel at my ability to achieve the impossible later?”

“At least you’re not underground this time,” said Joker.

“Can you get to me for an emergency pick up, then?” asked Shepard.

“Uh, not sure if this is actually an emergency, Commander,” said Joker. “You’re not technically in any immediate danger.”

“No, but I expect you’re going to be,” Shepard said.

“Okay, okay, hint taken,” said Joker. He didn’t sound as intimidated as Shepard would have liked. “I’m flying down to your coordinates.”

Shepard sighed and tried to adjust to a more comfortable position. Upside down, her head was filling with blood and beginning to pound. She had to stop doing this. It was getting humiliating. In the weeks since the geth attack on the Citadel, she had been perfectly happy to let the Mako, damaged by its violent trip through the conduit, sit unused in storage. Sure, Shepard enjoyed tackling difficult terrain with the Mako, but the comments from her squadmates had begun to wear on her pride a little. It was better for them all that they take some time away from it. As it turned out, however, the Mako was a tough vehicle and it hadn’t taken long for the Normandy’s mechanics and engineers to repair it.

This was the Mako’s first drive since Sovereign’s defeat, and Shepard had decided to take it out on her own to do a little reconnaissance at a suspected geth outpost. No one liked the idea of her potentially ending up in a firefight alone, but neither were they enthusiastic about joining her in the Mako again. In the end, the commander convinced them that she was safe on her own in a heavily armoured vehicle and soloed the geth base without much difficulty. It wasn’t until she acted on her fondness for attempting near vertical inclines that she found herself in a spot of trouble.

“I’ve got eyes on you, Commander.”

“Great. Pick me up.”

“Oh, I can’t do that.” Joker’s ability to focus on the humour of a situation seemed less endearing to Shepard than it once had. “This is as close to the ground as I can get the Normandy without a ship bay and docking clamps. There’s a reason you had to take the Mako out in the first place.”

“You’re kidding,” Shepard groaned to herself. She should have known.

“You’re going to have to get out and push,” said Joker. “Like I said, it’s good you’re not underground this time. External cameras can see you nice and clear.”

“I’m the hero of the Citadel now,” Shepard reminded him. “If I can influence who will be the first human on the Council, then I certainly have a say in grounding people. It would be a shame if someone tempted me to abuse that power.”

“Huh. That intimidating tone of yours seems to be working now, Commander.”

“I thought it might.” Shepard undid her safety restraints and manoeuvred herself into an upright position, pausing to allow the blood to rush safely back out of her head without fainting.

“I really have to push this thing?” she said. “I’m on my own, if you recall.”

“Really do,” Joker confirmed. “It actually shouldn’t be hard. Like I said, she’s designed to be right side up, so she’ll only need a nudge.”

“Wonderful.” Shepard pushed open the Mako’s door and rolled awkwardly out onto the planet’s surface. She stood, brushed the dirt from her Onyx N7 armour, and glanced up at the Normandy swaying in the air nearby. “Keeping her steady up there, I see.”

“Hey,” said Joker, “this is not an easy position to maintain. A moon this size has a decent amount of something our friend Newton likes to call gravity.”

“I’ve heard of it.”

“Yeah, well, it makes piloting tricky this close to the surface,” said Joker, his tone slightly defensive. “I’d like to see you maintain a hover this steady.”

“Your job, not mine,” said Shepard, turning towards the upside down Mako. “I’m not a pilot.”

“Clearly.”

Shepard snorted. “Don’t sass me. I can physically compensate for a shotgun’s kickback to achieve consistently good aim, identify the most efficient tactical approach to a firefight with constantly changing variables, and cave in a man’s skull with a biotically charged punch to the head, so excuse me if I haven’t quite kept up my vehicle operation skills.”

Shepard gave the Mako a hard shove, throwing her weight against it with a little help from her biotics. As Joker promised, it didn’t take too much force to get the Mako rolling in the right direction. As soon as it began to tip, its bottom-heavy design took over. Shepard skipped backwards out of the way as the armoured vehicle settled right side up.

“Hard to argue with that,” said Joker. “Hop back in, kick up the thrusters, and come home. There’s a message from the Council for you. Something about missing ships.”

Shepard threw open the door, pulled herself up into the Mako’s cramped interior, and sealed it behind her. She woke up the console’s controls and began to manoeuvre the vehicle to face the Normandy proper.

“My favourite people,” she said. “Any more details than that?”

“Just that we have to head out to the Omega Nebula,” said Joker. The Normandy’s cargo bay opened slowly. “The ships were last heard from in the Amada System.”

“Geth?”

“That’s the theory,” said Joker. “I can open a com channel when you get back if you need more details.”

“Can’t hurt,” said Shepard. Even if the Council had little to add, there was nothing bad about a new opportunity to hang up on them prematurely. Shepard engaged the thrusters and blasted towards the Normandy’s open cargo bay. “Sounds like a fairly routine mission, though.”

“You think geth are routine?” said Joker. “Actually, yeah, they kind of are. My life took a turn somewhere.”

Shepard landed the Mako in the cargo bay none too gently.

“Don’t worry, Joker,” she said, “The geth are disorganized without Saren. This will all calm down soon.”

“Right,” said Joker. “Wonder what a calm voyage on this ship would be like.”

A grin teased the corner of Shepard’s mouth. “Set a course for the nearest relay, Joker. We’ve got to check out those missing ships in the Amada System before we figure that out.”

“Copy that, Commander. Next stop, the Omega Nebula.”

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This story is inspired by my first play through of Mass Effect, during which I managed to flip the Mako more than once, and my sister reacted similarly to Joker. This could really be about any she/her pronoun using biotic Shepard, but I imagine this story is about my first Shep, a Vanguard named Donna. Feel free to insert your own Shepard's into this scenario, though.


End file.
